There is a Goanna in the classroom

Phillip was slow, and harmless.

John was a naïve, energetic young man on his first teaching posting out of teacher’s college. He had chosen a country posting which would accelerate his prospects for promotion. His ultimate goal was to get a posting back to his beloved city or on the coast.

He had been posted to a small rural and remote primary school where all 17 students from kindergarten to year 6 resided in the one classroom at the mercy of one teacher. He had not been there long and was still finding his way. Having spent all his life in the city he now found himself in rural and remote New South Wales.

Phillip was late to school this day. No one knew of his where abouts and no one really cared all that much, except for John. One of his students was missing, but he could not desert the class, so lessons went on.

Somewhere between 9:30 and 10:00 Phillip arrived unannounced in the classroom dragging a metre and half long Goanna (a Monitor lizard) behind him. He announced that he had taken a detour up the hill while walking to school and had seen the Goanna perched on the side of a tree. He then hit it with a large rock and had decided to take it to school with him.

John took the large lifeless lizard from Phillip and draped it over his desk, which sat at the front of the classroom on a slightly elevated stage in front of a large black board.

“What were you planning to do with the Goanna?” John enquired of Phillip.

“Dunn-know” was Phillips nonchalant reply.

John inspected the reptile. “And you killed it by banging it on the head with a rock?” John continued.

“Yep!” said Phillip

“How did you get so close to it?” John asked.

“It was just haggin’ on to the side of a tree so I picked up a rock and smashed it.” Explained Philip.

And with those words the Goanna came to life.

We all jumped up onto our chairs. Ross yelled, “You’d better watch out Sir, they climb to the highest point so he’ll run up you and sit on your head in no time…those claws will rip you to pieces!”

John scrambled, grabbed the wild reptile by the tail and held it off the ground. He strutted with great speed and purpose out of the classroom with all 17 kids clamouring behind him to see what he was going to do.

John made a b-line to the old Peppercorn tree, the one where the school milk was always left in the so called shade for us to drink at play lunch time. Luke warm and verging on sour.

He swung the primitive beast by its tail and smashed its head against the tree. Blood and brains spewed out all over his new city style bright yellow office shirt.

“Shit!” he yelled as he flung the dead reptile over the fence, across the drainage channel and into the neighbouring paddock. We all laughed. He looked furious. “You kids all get back into the classroom,” he bellowed, “Start reading your comprehension stories while I go and change my shirt, and no mucking around!”

His house was 100 metres away. We all clambered into class giggling and laughing.

Phillip was a harmless good natured young boy and John was a naïve new comer.

Craig  - 23 09 2017

Copyright Craig Buller 2017. All rights reserved